 | | You might be a redneck if . . .
More than one living relative is named after a southern civil war general.
You think Genitalia is an Italian airline.
Your front porch collapses and more than six dogs are killed.
You ever used lard in bed.
If you can burp and say your name at the same time, you're shur'nuff a redneck.
Your home has more miles on it than your car.
You think Possum is "The Other White Meat"
You think that potted meat on a saltine is an hors d'oeurve.
You carried a fishing pole into Sea World.
There is a stuffed possum anywhere in your house.
You hooked up with your present girlfriend as a result of a message on the wall of the men's room at the Flying J Truck Stop.
You consider a six-pack and a bug-zapper high-quality entertainment.
The centerpiece on your dining room table is an original signed work by a famous taxidermist.
Fewer than half of your cars run.
You think a quarter horse is a ride out in front of the Wal-Mart.
Your mother doesn't remove the Marlboro from her lips before telling the State Trooper to kiss her ass.
You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off it's wheels.
The primary color of your car is "Bondo."
You honestly think that women are turned on by animal noises and seductive tongue gestures.
Your hunting dog had a litter of puppies in the living room and nobody noticed.
You stand under the mistletoe at Christmas and wait for Granny and cousin Sue-Ellen to walk by.
You think safe sex is a padded headboard.
Your family tree doesn't fork.
Your hairdo has ever been ruined by a ceiling fan.
You think subdivision is part of a math problem.
Your mother has been involved in a fistfight at a high school sports event.
You think there's nothing wrong with incest as long as you keep it in the family.
You've ever barbecued Spam on the grill.
You may be a redneck if you and your dog use the same tree.
The best way to keep things cold is to leave them in the shade.
The neighbors started a petition over your Christmas lights.
Your brother-in-law is your uncle.
You think the last words to The Star Spangled Banner are "Gentlemen, start your engines."
You have refused to watch the Academy Awards since "Smokey and the Bandit" was snubbed for best picture.
Your only condiment on the dining room table is the economy size bottle of ketchup.
Your father executes the "pull my finger" trick during Christmas dinner.
The rear tires on your car are at least twice as wide as the front ones.
You consider "Outdoor Life" deep reading.
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